Probably as far as I'll get with this since the contest is over. Everything done in Blender Cycles. There is only one textured material here, and it isn't the label. Nope, the only texture present in the whole scene is the drop paths, which I was forced to do by hand in blender since my automated solution didn't work out.
Everything else is entirely procedural, at least as far as materials go.
The drops of condensation were done in a particularly novel way. There are three variants of a slightly edited sphere that have a Boolean cutting half of them away. The missing half is the side that always faces the bottle, so there's a constraint that enforces it. After that, there's a global displacement texture(procedural noise) for some variation and they are placed via a simple surface particle emitter.
I wanted to have a crab in the scene that was sort of worshiping the bottle, but multiple setbacks and errors forced me to remove it.
RIP unknown pious krabby. You will be missed.
Edit: added a higher sample version